Friend
Friend, is a word that we throw around a lot, but the question is do you know what a friend is? My computer program definition goes as follows:
Friend [frend] Noun plural noun: friends, plural noun: Friends
- a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. “she’s a friend of mine”
synonyms companion, bosom friend, best friend, close friend, intimate, confidante, confidant, familiar, soul mate, alter ego, second self, shadow, playmate, playfellow, classmate, schoolmate, workmate, ally, comrade, associate, sister, brother, pal, bosom pal, buddy, bosom buddy, chum, spar, sidekick, crony, main man… antonyms enemy
- a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
Verb; third person present: friends, present participle: friending, past tense: friended, past participle: friended
- add (someone) to a list of contacts associated with a social networking website.
“I am friended by 29 people who I have not friended back”
- befriend (someone).
origin
Old English frēond, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch vriend and German Freund, from an Indo-European root meaning ‘to love’, shared by free.
Jordan Peterson said this on Instagram
“Here’s how you know that you have a true friend, there’s a simple way to know if you got a true friend in your corner,
Isabella Lundy said it best “True friendship with stance time distance and silence.”
If you got these three things you got to ride or die.
Number 1
A true friend is a friend for life, you both grow, evolve, and hit different stages but you still rock with each other through it all. It’s not about always being on the same wave it’s about respecting each others journey.
Number 2
You don’t got to be in the same place, real friends, they support you even from a distance. Maybe you move away, maybe they start chasing different dreams,
that’s all good, you want them to win just as much as you want to win yourself.
Number 3
Probably The most important one, is you don’t need to be talking every day sometimes you will go weeks, or months without chopping it up. But when you do it’s like you never missed a beat, that’s how you know it’s real.
If you got people like that in your life hold onto them. That’s rare.”
I was told: “A friend is someone you call if you are in jail and need bail to get you out.” And a best friend is: Someone you can’t call because he is sitting in jail with you.”
My Story;
In the late 1990s, I had the pleasure of being our Church sound coordinator, this also meant that I was responsible for running the sound for our choir. Running the sound for the choir also came the responsibility of going with them to singing appointments. I enjoyed and loved mixing the sound for the Church and the choir as long as we were at our Church, or close to home where I could drive. The Church choir had gotten a pretty good reputation at that time for being anointed. God seemed to use us a lot at that time.
The problem was we were invited to do the Smoky Mountain Jubilee in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, which wasn’t too bad because I would ride up with the drummer, who is a dear friend, and help him set up his kit. Tennessee wasn’t too bad of a ride, and the Evangelist that ran the Jubilee was also a Pastor of a Church in Virginia, and he invited us to go to his annual Church Jubilee. So, now, we are going to go to Virginia and minister there.
There is one of many reasons that I do not want to go, the main reason is the same reason I don’t like to fly, the same reason I don’t like to be in an elevator, the same reason that I don’t like being in the back of a large crowd. I am and have always been claustrophobic. I don’t like closed-in places and I don’t like being anywhere that I can’t control when and where I can stop and get out of the room or the vehicle. With that known our pastor, Snyder, came to me and asked me to go with them and that I could have any seat on the bus that they chartered. I asked any and he assured me any. So, I insisted that I drive, knowing that that was not going to happen and knowing that I didn’t trust my little S 10 truck to make the trip at the time, I thought that I would get out of going, but I did not.
Now I am on a bus that I don’t want to be on and going somewhere that I didn’t want to go. As I have stated I love my Church and the choir and mixing the music and singers, I went not to please God but to please man, which is never the reason to minister, but God had me where he wanted me for a reason.
I love good preaching and I truly love anointed preachers, such as Tony Evans, Ike Reighard, Dr. Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, and on and on. A few weeks before we headed out on this outing, I had the chance to go to the Bailey Smith Real Evangelism Conference, in Marietta, Georgia at Roswell Street Baptist Church, Pastored by Nelson Price. After attending there for a week, I had an opportunity to purchase many cassette tapes. (I said that this was in the 90s didn’t I) There were some great sermons and testimonies on these tapes and some would just break your heart. So, I decided that I would bring all my tapes and my little tape player, some headphones, and enough batteries to make the trip and back, with batteries to spare. Now I was hoping that I could just submerge myself in preaching and never contemplate being on a bus full of people and having little to no control over the situation.
Now I am set, hoping, and praying that no one would bother me and remind me of my surroundings. I was sitting alone and I liked it that way, everyone else was talking and getting ready for a great time together, and as the bus was loading up to go. I made sure that I got a seat next to a window and not too far from the front so that if I had a meltdown, I could be drugged off the bus rather easily. People already knew who they wanted to be with and where they wanted to sit. So, all was going just the way I wanted it to go, Until, (I have said in the past “until” is hardly ever a good word to hear in a story). She said may I sit with you? And everything inside me was screaming NO! But I tried to conjure up a smile and said sure.
I spent most of my time in that Church at that time either in the sound room or in the pulpit. I am sorry to say that I am not much of a social person, don’t get me wrong, I love people and I care deeply for their souls. But, because of certain circumstances, I got to a point in my life where I was really careful who I let get close to me. Way too many people have come into my life and I have gotten close to them and now they are gone. I was not on that bus but for one reason and one reason only and that was to get to our destination and do my responsibility. Not to socialize and definitely, not to make any new friends. But I believe that God had other plans.
As I recall I told her she could sit with me if she left me alone, her name is Dianne, and she seemed to be okay with that because she had a book she wanted to read and acted as if she didn’t want to be bothered either. Boy, was I wrong about not wanting to talk with me? Her son is our drummer and a great friend of mine, so I thought she would be okay to be around because I always enjoy being around Mark.
As the trip progressed, she started asking me questions, and I thought why not talk maybe it would get my mind off the fact that I was still on a bus. It didn’t work, so to get her quiet I offered for her to listen to some of my tapes, and she took me up on the offer. As she sat there listening, I saw her starting to tear up and then I remembered that I had just given her the tape of Ike Reighard testimony. It is a great sermon and testimony, and it broke her heart. After listening to it, she got yet another tape, and then after completing it, she said you sure listen to some tear-jerkers. We then started talking about what she had been listening to. If you want a preacher to be your friend, just ask him a spiritual question about the Word of God and sit back and enjoy the ride.
That happened well almost thirty years ago, and to this day I consider her one of the few friends I call close. She later came to work as my company office manager and was by far my best employee. She was encouraging when I needed encouragement and never worried about my feelings when it came to setting me straight when I started to drift. We all need people like that in our life. She and her husband were in the Journey Group that I have the honor of teaching and is someone I love dearly. You just never know who God is going to put in your life and for what reason.
Oswald Chambers said, “Friendship is rare on earth. It means identity in Thought and Heart and Spirit.”
- C. S. Lewis said friendships are discovered when you say, “What, you too?! I thought I was the only one” (Four Loves, 248).
Hanya Yanagihara @deadpoetswilde says, “Friendship is the most underrated relationship in our lives. It remains the one relation not bound by law, blood, or money – but an unspoken agreement of love.”
Very few people have met those criteria in my life, and I bet the same can be said for most of us. We claim hundreds or even thousands of friends on Facebook and other social media outlets, and have never met many of them. How can they be friends?
In the Book of John, it says:
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” … and then Jesus continues “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” NKJV
As of the writing of this, we as a nation just remembered the 75th anniversary of “D Day” and how these men of the greatest generation of Americans
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
“What a Friend We Have in Jesus” is a Christian hymn originally written by preacher Joseph M. Scriven as a poem in 1855 to comfort his mother who was living in Ireland while he was in Canada. Scriven originally published the poem anonymously and only received full credit for it in the 1880s. The tune to the hymn was composed by Charles Crozat Converse in 1868. William Bolcom composed a setting of the hymn.
What a Friend We Have in Jesus
By, Alan Jackson
What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry Everything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged— Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful? Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy-laden? Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee. Thou wilt find a solace there.
Blessed Savior. Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
May we ever, Lord, be bringing All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright, unclouded. There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship Will be our sweet portion there.
As Christians, we should know that Jesus is our friend, but we need to make sure that we introduce the surrounding people to Him also. One of the talks in a Christian weekend retreat that I work with on occasion, says “Make a friend, be a friend, and bring that friend to Jesus”.
I have this penned in the back of my Bible
“If I just do my thing and you do yours, we stand in danger of losing each other and ourselves, we are fully ourselves only in relation to each other, and the “I” detached from the “thou,” is disintegrating. I do not find you by chance, I find you by an active life of reaching out” by Walter Tubbs
Did Jesus not say in Mark 16:15 …” Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. NKJV
All the world and let everyone as you come in contact with them know about Jesus. As it has been said, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
I love the Randy Newman song for “Toy Story”:
“You’ve Got A Friend in Me”.
You’ve got a friend in me, You’ve got a friend in me,
When the road looks rough ahead, And you’re miles and miles,
From your nice warm bed, You just remember what your old pal said,
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me, Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me.
You’ve got a friend in me, You’ve got a friend in me,
You’ve got troubles, I’ve got ’em too, There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you,
We stick together and we see it through, Cause you’ve got a friend in me,
You’ve got a friend in me.
Some other folks might be A little bit smarter than I am,
Bigger and stronger too, Maybe,
But none of them will ever love you, The way I do,
It’s me and you, boy.
And as the years go by, Our friendship will never die,
You’re gonna see it’s our destiny, You’ve got a friend in me,
You’ve got a friend in me, You’ve got a friend in me.
The word friend is found some 58 times in the NKJV, 22 of those are in the New Testament. Jesus used the word 14 of those 22 times.
Why does one need a friend, Solomon said in Ecclesiastes that two is better than one, and we need to make sure the one with our one is the one that God desires for us to have in our lives.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NKJV) 9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
I saw this and was compelled to add it to this chapter;
“It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Hello, Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.
“We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”
Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun to Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.
Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
No more; no less.”
(A.A. Milne, E.H. Shepard)
We must be very careful not only to whom we call friends but to whom we let in our life as a friend.
I like what a young preacher in our Church once said in one of his first sermons and that is if you take a white glove and put it on your hand and then submerge that hand in mud, the glove gets muddy. It is never said that the mud got glovie. (I know that glovie is not a word, but do you get the point?)
So, we need to be very careful who we accept as a real friend, if the person brings you down, and takes you away from the ones that once lifted you. If that person takes you places that you once would not go it would hurt your testimony. If that person uses language that brings dishonor to God and makes you look cheap. So, if that person has more influence on you. Then you start emulating them instead of representing Christ. There should be warning horns going off big time in your heart and mind. You should step back and look and see if you are getting muddy or if they are getting “glovie.” My bet is the mud is winning, if you step back from real friends and start following this kind of people you are not doing them any good, and you are not doing you any good either.
Well, Jesus hung out with sinners and bad people. Yes, He did, and he showed them love and brought them around to His way, by the example that He led. Not by acting like them. I am not saying you cannot have bad people in your life as friends, I am saying do not let them lead you away from the witness that took you years to build up. Satan would have nothing better than to tear you down.
Remember “Make a friend, be a friend, and bring that friend to Jesus.” Not make a friend, be a friend, and let that friend take you away from Jesus.
So, here is the question, are you getting muddy, or are the ones you are hanging with getting “glovie?” If you are a Christian and you allow someone to take you down the wrong road, and you are allowing them to tear down the witness that God had in you then I say it is time to do as Joshua said in the book that carries his name:
Joshua 24:15 (NKJV) 15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
You must choose whether to follow God or follow the world! Sometimes the one that is leading you down the wrong road may be waiting for you to make a stand and say NO, I’m going to follow God. Just so they can see if this Christian stuff is real in your life and if, so then they may want to follow Christ themselves.
James 4:4 (NKJV) 4 … Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
As I have said in the past and am sure I will say again and again. When God is talking about neighbors and friends, I don’t think he is talking about what kind of friend you have but what kind of friend your friend has namely YOU. Are you loving that friend enough to say to them, I will serve the LORD! Do you love them enough to let them leave, because Jesus did? He gives us a choice, to love them and live for Him and lead them out of hell. Or watch them go on their way while destroying your testimony and your witness.
I beg you to love them enough to bring them to Christ. “Make a friend, be a friend, and bring that friend to Jesus.” That is real love. They are worth your love, but not at the expense of taking away the love you once had for God and his word.
Let them see the Love of the Lord in you and they may just want it too. It has been my experience that most people living a Godless life are looking for something or someone and I promise you that something is God himself and that someone is you showing them the Love of God.
I heard a preacher say once that he could tell the ones not as close to God as they once were. They were in the Church down front, then about halfway back in the Church, and then in the back, and then in the overflow, and then they were gone. It is always gradual. One small step at a time away from Christ and for every step you take away it is one more step closer to Satan and his way of life, which leads to destruction.
I once had a great quiet time and now my time is quiet. I once went to Church religiously (did you see what I did there?) now my religion is anything except Christ. I once went to Sunday School or Small Group and now I am in places that I know that God is heartbroken over. Does He stop loving you? NEVER!!! But there will come a time when someone who once watched how much you loved God and how you would not compromise your belief in Him. They are seeing something different, and they may say if that is Christianity, I want no part of it. Is your moment of enjoyment worthy of their soul?
As I stated at the beginning, I have several people that I know, but I only have a few people that I call Friends. If you are one of the few people that is a true friend I am as Spock said in the second Star Trek movie, “I have been and always shall be your friend.”
The classic 1993 Western Tombstone is full of memorable quotes from Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and the infamous Cowboys of Southern Arizona. After a major shootout at the river, our heroes are regathering themselves, and Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) walks over to the side of the river leans over, and coughs, and Cactus Jack Johnson (Buck Taylor) Says, “Doc what are you doing out here, you should be in bed,” in which Doc’s reply was, “Wyatt Earp is my friend.” Then Cactus Jack said, “I got lots of friends,” here is where I can relate to Doc because he said, “I don’t.”
God calls everyone to be his friend. Are you in need of a friend let me tell you where to get a friend.
Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) 24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Can we find a friend so faithful? Whom will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; Are we weak and heavy-laden? Cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge—Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In His arms, He’ll take and shield thee. Thou wilt find a solace there. Blessed Savior. Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear; May we ever, Lord, be bringing All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful? Yes, His name is Jesus!!
I hope and pray that the ones who call me a friend and that I live up to their expectation. I hope that when my name is spoken people can say he is my friend.
I hope that I follow the example set before me in Christ Jesus.
I hope if you ever have called me a friend you still can.
But I know me, I know that I have let people down, and I know that I probably have said or done something that I shouldn’t have said or done. And hope and pray that my friends can forgive me and that I can forgive my friends who have let me down.
I was recently removed from a post and blocked from adding anything to the page on Facebook. The post was my home Church that I have been a part of since I was five years old, at the time of this writing I was sixty-one. So, I was not happy, it wasn’t anything bad I posted it was just an old picture of the Church and I said I miss that, Church. After I put a rebuttal on my personal Facebook page and about 50 people commented on my post, I received a message apologizing and said the block was removed and ended by saying “God bless my friend.” I do not know who misinformed the person writing me that we were friends, because we are not. I have never talked to the man who messaged me. We are not friends, not my definition of a friend. We think because we add the word friend that makes us friends. But in my book, it does not.
The example that is set before us is Jesus himself. He forgave us even before we let him down and keeps loving us anyway. Let us try to live that way and remember:
“Make a friend, be a friend, and bring that friend to Jesus.”
